a letter to the heart

dear you,

please give me the strength to do the things i need to do, and not the one i want to do.
please show me the road that i need to take, not the one i want to take.

i need a new me. a need to find the new me.
i want to start from way back, so i could hurt lesser people like my mom, like the ones that i love the most.

i want to run away, run away where no one knows me and have a new name.
my name, which i hate so much gave me so much pain and less happiness.

i just want someone to love me, someone who loves me more than i love him.
i want to be selfish, because i deserve to be.

i want to make everything right, but i am so scared to start. i dont even know where to start. i have countless sins. sins that i’ve never thought i’d ever have. sins that would break my mothers heart. sins that would make her hate me and wished that she never had me.

i am that fucked up.
so fucked up that i dont even know how to react.

please, forgive me.
anyone who might read this. please forgive me and give me a chance.
tell me that everything will be okay and i’ll be happy.

love,
me

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